Before having a baby, you are literally the center of your own little world. Everything you do, every decision that you make has an affect on you, or if your married, "taken" or what not, it has an affect on you together. But then everything changes, dramatically, when you have a baby. Suddenly, you are not alone in your little world anymore and the center of it has shifted in a beautiful way. Now, everything you do, every decision made is done with your baby in the forefront of your mind. Having a baby changes everything. EVERYTHING.
When you become a mom, you don't "just" become a mom, at least I didn't, it took time. The transition from
just woman and man to mommy and daddy isn't smooth for everyone. For some, it happens naturally, instantly, and I'll admit, I will be eternally jealous of those people, but for most it's scary (
Blog post: Somebody please tell me I can do this ) boring (
Blog post: The oh so cute newborn blob ) depressing, expensive (
Blog post: So why can't the dog babysit again? ) and all around complicated. I think a lot of women, myself included, have a preconceived notion of what motherhood is going to be like. The perfect baby who never cries, sleeps through the night, always takes a nap when you want them to, they eat the perfect dinner, they breastfeed (this one is personal.) They are well behaved, always listen, can entertain themselves but still enjoy the company of their mother, so on and so forth. But the reality of it is far far different that the perfect baby world we have created in our heads. In my case, this
delusional image of motherhood, (mixed with
crazy psycho crazy hormones), well lack thereof, left me feeling sad, desperate, helpless, confused, maybe a little resentful and a whole lot of embarrassment of feeling the way I felt to top it off.
Now, I was never diagnosed with Postpartum Depression so I can't claim to know what those who have are going through. But with a lot of how I was feeling, I wouldn't be surprised if I had a touch of it. I must say that developing PPD was a major fear of mine and I imagine that PPD would be devastating for a new mom. With being a new mom, there is a huge emotional weight on your shoulders when you aren't embracing in your new-found mommyhood.You feel isolated and as for myself, I was struggling with the lack of feelings I had for my son in the first weeks of his life. I was mad at myself for not being the happy go-lucky new mommy I always thought I would be. I found my mind constantly going in the direction of my son doesn't deserve to have a mother like me, he needs better, so much better. But with time, and the realization that I was new at this and it was going to take time, I suddenly was released from my emotional prison to the beautiful world of parenting that I had been blessed with but too blind to see. Now, I will shout it from the mountain tops, "I LOVE BEING MOMMY!"
Having a baby changes everything. Outside of the obvious lifestyle changes that come along with a baby, the main changes happen emotionally. My way of thinking will never be the same. Once I got over the hurdle of new mommy-hood and the feelings of "OMG what have I done!?" my mind became abundantly clear, it's not about me. I stopped wallowing in my own self pity and everything became about the beautiful little blonde haired blue eyed boy who smiles at me every time I look at him. You want to feel sorry for yourself, fine, but do it on your own time (good luck finding your own time mommy), your baby's time, is your time!
I've always heard that being a mom is the hardest job you'll ever have. Let's face it, it's complicated. And
new moms all moms need a little help and support. If you need help, ASK FOR IT! There is no shame in not knowing what you are doing, I sure as hell as don't. I'm seriously taking mommy-hood one day at a time and learning as I go. Talk to your own mother, your sister, your grandma, your best friend. I have found the e-community to be absolutely wonderful with questions I've had regarding Alex. I can't tell you all how many times my fellow moggers (mommy+blogger=mogger, cute, right?) have made my heart smile. There is a wonderful world of support in the world of Mommy Blogging, take advantage of it, you never know, they may just need your help too.
What was becoming a new mom like for you? I'd really like to read what you have to say. Comments are truly encouraged :)
Thanks!
A very special thank you to
Jamie @4loveofcupcakes
Loving Life , Mama G @growingupgeeky
Growing Up Geeky , Nancy @withlovechrancy
The Chrancy Family , Mrs Viciere @MrsViciere, BLatta @blatta_in_al, Sarah @hellonurse182
Nurse Loves Farmer
Though Twitter and my blog, you have helped me when I've needed a little help with Alex. You are all great and I am grateful I have developed this new great e-family. :)
There are so many more I want to thank but I think I might need to write a whole separate blog, you are all just fabulous!