Boy meets Girl

Girl meets boy. Boy sneezes in girls's face, girl no longer likes boy. That's pretty much how the introduction of Alex to Charlie went.

The way we see it Charlie will always be our first child and we're pretty sure she see's it that way too. For 2 years it was Mommy, Daddy and Charlie. She got all of out attention and was a spoiled rotten princess!

Halloween 2009, Family Picture

We weren't sure how Charlie was going to react to us bringing Alex home. To be honest my main concern was her thinking he was another pet or a chew toy. We knew she'd be jealous but we were'nt sure how she'd act on that jealousy.

Fast forward to April 6, 2011.

First we brought Alex home without Charlie there, we wanted to get settled in before making the introduction. Kris went and picked on Charlie from my mother in law's house and brought her inside. At first she completely bypassed Alex and came straight to me, doing her happy dance and doggy talks (she hadn't seen my in 3 days.) Then she realized there was something else in the house. Kris picked up Alex and sat with him on the couch, Charlie very slowly inched her way closer and closer to the baby unsure of what he was.

Checking out Alex

 She got close enough to sniff out his face and Alex let out an adult sized sneeze right in Charlie's face. She nearly does a back flip off the couch and sprints to the other side of the room. The next couple days were a little rough. Charlie was interested in Alex but was still afraid of him, she would bark her scared bark every time he made a sound which would send him into his startled throw his arms in the air as if he was riding a rollarcoaster state (which I must admit was pretty cute.) She kept looking up at us with her please take him back eyes. We were wondering if she'd ever be ok with him being in the house. We weren't worried about her hurting him but just about her being jealous always of him. As soon as Kris picks Alex up out of my lap, Charlie gets in it but never does she try to get in my lap with Alex at the same time.

Not sure yet what he is.

But it didn't take much longer for him to grow on her. She has got to the point where she always has to be able to see him. She watches him all the time, always seems to have guard over him. We had to remove the front bumper out of the crib so that she could see him (we figured this out after she jumped into his crib with him in it.) Now she is his protector, his big sister. She has to make sure he's ok whenever somebody else other than us is holding him, and she prefers that no other dog comes near her baby. She's a little mother to him and it's so cute!

So, girl meets boy, girl likes boy. Boy sneezes in girl's face. Girl no longer like boy. Boy works his magic, girl loves boy. We're just one big happy family now :)

Charlie and Alex in Alex's crib.

Keeping a watchful eye over her little buddy.

Baby No Smiles

All I want is to capture Alex smiling. He's so cute when he does it, kind of mischievous and innocent all at the same time. There is nothing quite like a toothless baby grin and I want nothing more to get that damn smile on camera! The little guy has already developed his little devilish ways, he will look at me and smile all day long but as soon as I pull out the camera he's like a damn cat and a laser pointer once the cat figures out where the light is coming from, his face gets all serious and he just stares at the camera. The other night I tried for over an hour to get this elusive (I swear it exists) smile in a picture and he never cracked, not once! So my end result is a dozen pictures of Sir Pouty Face, 4 almost smiles, and 8 i'm over this and i'm not even going to look at you anymore pictures. He hates me, or rather loves to torment me. I am soooooo in for it, he's starting young.

Not going to crack.

Almost.

 Close but no cigar.

There it is! But in his defense, he was sleeping and it was probably gas. 

(He's only a few weeks old here)

Heartbreak and Embracing Faith

In the past couple months I have heard too many stories of parents losing their young children. It breaks my heart to have to think about what they must be going through and trying to understand how they are going to get through this, if it's even possible. Then I talked with a neighbor of mine who I had never really spoken to before. She was telling me about the loss of her teenage son about 15 years ago. She told me how she thought she'd never get through it, that the pain would never go away. Then she said what pulled her through was Faith. She knew he was in a better place, no pain, no worries, he was in good hands. It wasn't easy for her to any extent but she knew that in time it would get easier, it had to.

 When I was pregnant, I had an arsenal of worries and fears of what  could go wrong with my pregnancy and my baby. Was I doing things right? Eating the right things? Getting enough sleep? Staying active the right amount to keep him in perfect health? I spent 8 months keeping track of everything in my pregnancy to make sure I was doing things the way they were supposed to be done. I was determined to have a safe and healthy baby boy in my arms when it was all over with. Then he was born, and all those worried were gone. In my head I thought "he's here now and he's safe." I stopped worrying about something happening to him and the possibility of something going wrong, until recently. Now I have a gut wrenching fear that something is going to happen regardless of how careful and protective I am of him. I have to have Faith that God is watching over him and keeping him safe, and if (heaven forbid) something happen to my beautiful baby boy, it's because HE has a bigger plan for him. All children of all ages have a lesson to teach us, some may be heartbreaking and some may not be, but I believe they are here to teach us the value of life, unconditional love, about Faith, and so much more.

I will never stop worrying about my son. As soon as a worry passes, it will be replaced by a new one. I tend to get a little paranoid at times (as I would imagine all first time mom's do) just the other night I woke up Kris with "I don't hear anything on the monitor, something's wrong" and then felt like a fool when he mumbles half asleep "Ashley, he's sleeping." Duh! Of course I don't hear anything, he's sleeping like a baby! The fear of something happening is never going to go away and it may cloud my mind at times, but I plan to embrace everyday as if it is the greatest day of my son's life. Faith gives that to me.

The "Oh so Cute" Newborn Blob

Everybody loves a new baby. The  little hands, little feet, soft skin, the oh so endearing new baby smell. People find them to be just absolutely adorable and a joy to be around, you often hear people, specifically women, talk about how wonderful this stage is. Well I am here to tell you, NOT me. I hated the newborn stage, I found my son to be this oh so cute newborn blob. That's right, I just referred to my son as a blob, deal with it. He didn't do anything. He laid there, he didn't smile (unless he had gas), he didn't laugh, no interaction whatsoever, he was just this blob laying on a blanket on my living room rug. I sat in this house all day with no adult interaction watching a blob sleep. While I didn't want to age my child to quickly (I wasn't looking forward to when I have to say things like "I don't remember him ever being that small" and "they grow so fast, enjoy it while you can") I was dying for him to grow just a tad quicker. I couldn't wait for him to smile at me, laugh when I made a funny face and grab things in his little hands. I wanted him to interact with me, it seriously was killing me! But as I am learning too quickly, they do grow up so fast. Alex will be 3 months old on July 4th and already the blob phase seems so far behind him. He smiles at me, follows me around with his amazingly blue eyes, and just in these past couple weeks he's starting to.

While I say I hated the newborn stage of my baby's first year, I also miss it already. Crazy, right? He will never be that small again. He will never be my little boy all curled up sleeping on my chest (boobs make a great baby bumper) or snuggling in my arms. But I am without a doubt excited for all the milestones waiting in the wings for my little man. He is going to be absolutely amazing!

Adventures in Baby Spit

Baby spit-up. Everywhere. Poor guy has had a rough week, 2 month shots on Monday and now spit up is flowing like it ain't ever flowed before. I have never seen so much come out of such a little being, and it scares him every time.

The first time it happened, it went all over Daddy, I mean all over. It was even inside his shorts on his boxers. The next time was all over a friends deck and down Mommy's outfit, that one was easy, all we had to do was get the hose. Mommy went back to work and as I dropped him off a Grandma's house, all down the front of Mommy's dress. Grandma said he did it twice at her house the day after his shots. It's been 20 hours since the last incident, fingers crossed the little dude is feeling better. 

Side note: I'm considering starting up some kind of projectile vomit distance baby contest thingy, I swear my kid shot his food 10ft over my shoulder!

Somebody Please Tell Me I Can Do This

You always hear about how pregnant women laugh, cry and scream all at the same tim due to the so called crazy pregnant hormones. I must of been a part of an elite group of pregos that didn't experience the sporatic mood changes other than going from awake to dead tired in .03 seconds. Now, what nobody told me about, or should I say warned me about, was how incredibly insane your hormones go post baby. I was a mess for nearly 8 weeks! I found myself missing my old life, sleeping whenever I wanted, doing whatever I wanted when I wanted to, even cleaning my house seemed like a past luxury never to be recovered again. I would look at my son and feel the love that every mother feels for their child and then break down crying, all. day. long. I would end up with this overwhelming feeling of not being able to do this, by this I mean be a mom. I was convinced I wasn't cut out for this, he deserved to have a real Mommy, not a hormonal self loathing can't control my own thoughts mental case such as myself. Kris would come home from work and I would immediately hand over the baby, it didn't matter if he spent the entire day sleeping and didn't make a sound, I felt "here you go, i'm done with him." We would be sitting at the dinner table eating and I would just break down crying and saying over and over again I can't do this. I couldn't control how I felt and no matter how much I fought it, the anxiety and fear would take over everyday. I was worried that I may have had at least a touch of PPD, fingers crossed that I didn't. I was embarrassed to talk to anybody about it.

Then I opened up to my Mom and told her all about how I was feeling. She laughed at me. That's right, laughed. There's a boost to the first time mom ego. She said over and over again "honey, it's normal." NORMAL? THIS is NORMAL?!" Why didn't anybody ever tell me about this? Here I am thinking I'm crazy, a horrible mom, a monster because I gave birth the most perfect baby in the world and I kept thinking I don't want him. Hormones, stupid, all over the place, trying to readjust, hormones. It took some time, but I swear, I woke up one morning (to a screaming hungry baby boy of joy) and all those feelings, the sadness, fear, emptiness, was gone. I was left with the beautiful miniature version of my husband with baby blue eyes and 3 inch long eyelashes and feelings of nothing but pure happiness and joy. I am Mommy, hear me roar!